What do i have to say about them? My thoughts are so scattered about the subject. Best Friends are the essence of love. First there's all the cliches: They're there for you when youre broken, they know how to make you laugh, they know all your deepest darkest secrets, you feel like you can tell them everything, they're a shoulder to cry on, a relief when you most need it, you can call them at 4 in the morning and cry and sob to them, they stick up for you when someone talks crap, and they love you for who you are.
However, most people don't voice some of the things not said about best friends. Best friends listen to you. Now, that may count as a chliche, but not when you think about it. There's a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is when what someone says goes in your ears but youre so busy thinking about something else (what your going to say next or even something completely unrelated to the subject) that you dont give your full attention to them therefore you dont really care what they're saying. Now listening, is when youre percieveing what your friend is saying and you actually have something to say when they're done speaking thats not unrelated to the subject or about you. Best friends listen. they look you straight in the eye and listen to you. They give you advice thats completely unbiased.
Another thing is that they help you remember who you are. You could be off to new, bigger, better places, and one thing that will always be the same is your friends. You can change. I know that seems like it could NEVER EVER happen, but trust me, it does! Lol. Your best friends will tell you who you used to be. Its up to you whether you choose to be that person again or not.
Now when youre off to new, bigger, better places dont forget the people, the best friends, that shaped you. Your best friend doesnt have to be unrelated to you. You can also have more than one best friend. The point is that best friends give you love. Love is a natural part of nurturing. Something that shapes our development. The love you get from your best friend isnt something your mom could give you, not something your grandma could give you, your grandpa, your dad, or even your husband or boyfriend. God gives us this love for a purpose. Each best friend will help you through a specific something. What that something is? i have no idea. However, i hope what ive said gets you to thinking. My challenge to you? go tell your best friend you love them:)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
It's The Little Things
Sometimes you notice its the little things in life that you can get the most out of. Right now, i'd like you to take a look at your life. what are the highlights? ok, now erase those from your mind for just a minute, and try to remember the last time you took pride in the little things of life.
I just spent two hours in a new place with some new people. Now, in about six months, that moment could become the start of a big highlight in my life, or a little thing. However, if this were any other night, i probably wouldve just shrugged that off and wouldnt have thought about how much this night could impact the next six months, and how it couldnt. But as i was sitting on the couch next to Sam Decker watching him play video games with his best friend, i thought "Now Anna, this is the first time you've met his family, met his friends, seen his house, everything. Is this the start of an adventure or a yellow brick road that just goes on and on and on?" then i looked around the circle of people...Akeem, Maggie, Ross, Hannah...then Sam. He has this look about him , you see. i have yet to figure it out though. (im one of those creepers who just has to figure everyone out, no matter who they are) Everyone has a word. I havent found his yet. Sensational? Exciting? Warm? Sweet? Gentle? Delightful? Fascinating? Original? Whimsical? ill let you know when i figure it out. And his word was all over his face at that moment. Conveniently enough, my reading skills had left me at that particular moment. His face was pink for some reason, but he was completely focused on his videogame and didnt notice me staring. Then i realized i was staring. Why? i have no idea. That's when it became a little thing.
Little things could consist of many categories. Some examples would be: little stares i get from people who like me, a bypasser in a foreign state seeing a moment shared by a couple, a smiley face on someone's back window of their car, smelling the flowers, stopping to watch a sunset by yourself, a bypasser seeing a father give his daughter a kiss, a man on the corner of the road playing his guitar like no one's watching.
So this little thing: catching myself stare at a green eyed boy, made me smile. I have no idea if i'll ever remember that moment. Either because there will be many more moments like that, or because it could get crowded by some other big highlight in my life. The little things in life are one thing God put on this earth to fill our never ending void of emptiness. It doesnt come by money, or a due paid, or pain. Its a feeling you cant replace. It may possibly be an aspect of love. on my Journey of discovering the meaning of Love? heres a footnote: What does love have to do with the little things? Love is every part of what God is teaching and giving you. Not just the lessons you learn in the highlights, but the comforting, sweet, wistful, whimsical....
little things.
I just spent two hours in a new place with some new people. Now, in about six months, that moment could become the start of a big highlight in my life, or a little thing. However, if this were any other night, i probably wouldve just shrugged that off and wouldnt have thought about how much this night could impact the next six months, and how it couldnt. But as i was sitting on the couch next to Sam Decker watching him play video games with his best friend, i thought "Now Anna, this is the first time you've met his family, met his friends, seen his house, everything. Is this the start of an adventure or a yellow brick road that just goes on and on and on?" then i looked around the circle of people...Akeem, Maggie, Ross, Hannah...then Sam. He has this look about him , you see. i have yet to figure it out though. (im one of those creepers who just has to figure everyone out, no matter who they are) Everyone has a word. I havent found his yet. Sensational? Exciting? Warm? Sweet? Gentle? Delightful? Fascinating? Original? Whimsical? ill let you know when i figure it out. And his word was all over his face at that moment. Conveniently enough, my reading skills had left me at that particular moment. His face was pink for some reason, but he was completely focused on his videogame and didnt notice me staring. Then i realized i was staring. Why? i have no idea. That's when it became a little thing.
Little things could consist of many categories. Some examples would be: little stares i get from people who like me, a bypasser in a foreign state seeing a moment shared by a couple, a smiley face on someone's back window of their car, smelling the flowers, stopping to watch a sunset by yourself, a bypasser seeing a father give his daughter a kiss, a man on the corner of the road playing his guitar like no one's watching.
So this little thing: catching myself stare at a green eyed boy, made me smile. I have no idea if i'll ever remember that moment. Either because there will be many more moments like that, or because it could get crowded by some other big highlight in my life. The little things in life are one thing God put on this earth to fill our never ending void of emptiness. It doesnt come by money, or a due paid, or pain. Its a feeling you cant replace. It may possibly be an aspect of love. on my Journey of discovering the meaning of Love? heres a footnote: What does love have to do with the little things? Love is every part of what God is teaching and giving you. Not just the lessons you learn in the highlights, but the comforting, sweet, wistful, whimsical....
little things.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Ghosts of Christmas Only Come Out On Christmas
We went through the motions. Snow on Christmas Eve morning, Christmas Eve Service with my Grandparents at their church, coins from Papa, go to sleep late Christmas Eve night, woke up at 7:45 this Christmas Morning to open presents, but we didnt actually open any till 8 because it took fifteen minutes to actually wake everyone up, answered Bible questions to open each present, had crepes for breakfast, proceeded to play with our Christmas presents for about three or four hours afterwards, then finally, an addition to Christmas traditions, went to our dearest friends the Owens's house for dinner.
Christmas Eve services at E-free are touching, mainly because its the first reference we get to the real meaning of Christmas. We light candles at the end of the service. The significance i see in this is that they re-use the candles every year so they're pretty beat down. This represents the world. Then we light the candle, and the fire represents Jesus Christ, God's Son, the light of the world. Something absolutely flawless. Now the fire is put on an old beat up (used to be new and fresh) candle. God sent something so pure, something He loved with all His heart, to shed light on an unworthy world. We dont deserve what He sent to us. This is the meaning of Christmas.
We wake up so early. This is a tradition i try, but always fail to change, every year. However, i never not have an answer to the Bible questions I'm asked. I open my presents pretty quick. But the reason we do this is so that we can appreciate the presents more i guess. Its also very fun.
The Owens's are one of God's many blessings to our family. The reason we hang around them so much is because their family is almost symmetric to ours. Heres my illustration:
Dad--Mr Owens
Mom--Ms Owens
Gabby--Katy
Anna--Megan
Joseph--James
William--Ashleigh
Michael-- Lauren/Alex
We all have best friends in this family. We grew up together. Id like to pause for a moment and admire my best friend Megan Owens. This beautiful, stylish, spunky, poised, loyal young woman of God has been there for me since the beginning. We've seen eachother grow up, seen eachother through our ugly times, our wrong choices, and we love each other through them. Honestly, she's seen all my phases. She knows me better than i know myself. We're comfortable enough to just tell eachother when we're being stupid. i can be a kid again when im with her. We have entirely too much fun together. i love you Meg:)
This Christmas i got to know a boy, whom has taught me many things, and many more to come. I'm looking forward to the next few months with him, and im confident he'll be a part of my journey. This Christmas was simpler, but absolutely so much more complex and meaningful. this Christmas came more with hugs, kisses, kind words, and meaningful stares, more than wrapping paper, bows, and ribbons. Happy Birthday Jesus, in a Christmas soon to come, i hope we'll be with You celebrating Your birthday. To sing our traditional hymns in a new light, with a sweet angel harmony behind our melody. To dance in your presence, to play a song that would melt Your heart as You have melted mine.
Christmas Eve services at E-free are touching, mainly because its the first reference we get to the real meaning of Christmas. We light candles at the end of the service. The significance i see in this is that they re-use the candles every year so they're pretty beat down. This represents the world. Then we light the candle, and the fire represents Jesus Christ, God's Son, the light of the world. Something absolutely flawless. Now the fire is put on an old beat up (used to be new and fresh) candle. God sent something so pure, something He loved with all His heart, to shed light on an unworthy world. We dont deserve what He sent to us. This is the meaning of Christmas.
We wake up so early. This is a tradition i try, but always fail to change, every year. However, i never not have an answer to the Bible questions I'm asked. I open my presents pretty quick. But the reason we do this is so that we can appreciate the presents more i guess. Its also very fun.
The Owens's are one of God's many blessings to our family. The reason we hang around them so much is because their family is almost symmetric to ours. Heres my illustration:
Dad--Mr Owens
Mom--Ms Owens
Gabby--Katy
Anna--Megan
Joseph--James
William--Ashleigh
Michael-- Lauren/Alex
We all have best friends in this family. We grew up together. Id like to pause for a moment and admire my best friend Megan Owens. This beautiful, stylish, spunky, poised, loyal young woman of God has been there for me since the beginning. We've seen eachother grow up, seen eachother through our ugly times, our wrong choices, and we love each other through them. Honestly, she's seen all my phases. She knows me better than i know myself. We're comfortable enough to just tell eachother when we're being stupid. i can be a kid again when im with her. We have entirely too much fun together. i love you Meg:)
This Christmas i got to know a boy, whom has taught me many things, and many more to come. I'm looking forward to the next few months with him, and im confident he'll be a part of my journey. This Christmas was simpler, but absolutely so much more complex and meaningful. this Christmas came more with hugs, kisses, kind words, and meaningful stares, more than wrapping paper, bows, and ribbons. Happy Birthday Jesus, in a Christmas soon to come, i hope we'll be with You celebrating Your birthday. To sing our traditional hymns in a new light, with a sweet angel harmony behind our melody. To dance in your presence, to play a song that would melt Your heart as You have melted mine.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
The Fork in the Road is Farther Away Than You Think
so, heres my vision for where i was: me on a long unpaved road but im at a fork in the road. i have to choose which path to to take.
now i realize? whats the real picture? :me on a long unpaved road about 22miles from the fork in the road.
now, some of you may know what i mean. for those of you that dont, ill tell you.
i thought that i had to make a choice right at this very second. i had to do it as soooooon as possible or everything would go wrong. With the help of a little common sense, and some advice from my friend Andrew Schaaf, we realized that i didnt know enough about the two roads i was coming upon. i dont know what they look like, what kind of twists and turns they'll lead me on, or which one is best for me because i havent found enough out about them. i have a problem with going with the flow when it comes to these things. i havent quite gotten my bearings on how it goes.
Have any of you ever had a specific connection with music? i feel like music is one of those things that brings me back to reality, and at the same time taking me off somewhere else than where i want to be at that moment. (that wording is terrible but whatever ha) ive been writing alot of songs about these things, but i have yet to write one about my choices. i want it to be something that will help girls decide what to do. to give them some comfort that everyone goes through this sometimes. they arent alone. ill let you know when im done writing it. ill also keep you posted on my choice.
now i realize? whats the real picture? :me on a long unpaved road about 22miles from the fork in the road.
now, some of you may know what i mean. for those of you that dont, ill tell you.
i thought that i had to make a choice right at this very second. i had to do it as soooooon as possible or everything would go wrong. With the help of a little common sense, and some advice from my friend Andrew Schaaf, we realized that i didnt know enough about the two roads i was coming upon. i dont know what they look like, what kind of twists and turns they'll lead me on, or which one is best for me because i havent found enough out about them. i have a problem with going with the flow when it comes to these things. i havent quite gotten my bearings on how it goes.
Have any of you ever had a specific connection with music? i feel like music is one of those things that brings me back to reality, and at the same time taking me off somewhere else than where i want to be at that moment. (that wording is terrible but whatever ha) ive been writing alot of songs about these things, but i have yet to write one about my choices. i want it to be something that will help girls decide what to do. to give them some comfort that everyone goes through this sometimes. they arent alone. ill let you know when im done writing it. ill also keep you posted on my choice.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
A Day of Choice
So, my life is at a slow-mo point. i thought things were starting to move a little faster, but it turns out i was a bit too excited too early. I just dont know when to get my hopes up anymore. or if ever to get my hopes up in the first place. It seems as though nothing is happening for a purpose. Yes, i know God does everything for a specific reason, but im just not seeing it yet. and, Quite frankfly, its bothering me... i dont know what i should do, where or to whom i should turn, or when to do it. i dont know what God is teaching me anymore.... is it patience? is it faith? is it self control and perseverance? i need something that will open my eyes. so i can see clearly what path i am to take.
This whole musical thing is now taking its tole. i feel like i have no idea why my directors cast me as the leading lady... i feel as though ive done nothing right... all they do is criticize. which i welcome! i love to learn. however, it would be nice to hear some encouraging words every once in a while... im finding refuge in a few people. not many, but a few. and day by day, my connection is getting weaker with some people... God will lead me through. how he will do it? is beyond me of course.
This whole musical thing is now taking its tole. i feel like i have no idea why my directors cast me as the leading lady... i feel as though ive done nothing right... all they do is criticize. which i welcome! i love to learn. however, it would be nice to hear some encouraging words every once in a while... im finding refuge in a few people. not many, but a few. and day by day, my connection is getting weaker with some people... God will lead me through. how he will do it? is beyond me of course.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Why life sucks? I have no idea.
So, my family has this thing.
Me and my siblings all mature ten times faster than other children our age. Some of us more physically than others, but all of us mature mentally and emotionally way faster than other children. Why? im not really sure. But its good sometimes, then other times its bad.
Last night i went to my best friend's house. Jenna is 18, and JUST GOT ENGAGED! I'm so happy for her and her fiance Stephen. Anyways, she threw a party for her coming back from Texas, and i was, of course, younger than everyone there by at least three years. However, i felt like one of the oldest! Now, this isnt exactly a bad thing. it may just mean that the people there were just having fun with life! The point is, years dont exactly matter. things like experience, observation, God's given wisdom, level of maturity, etc. are really the things that matter.
However, there are some times when I get to learn something. those times really open my eyes, and im glad for them.
That guy i was talking about? God is currently using him to teach me something. Of course, i wont know the full lesson once this is all over, but i will learn. We talked today. He likes me too (supposedly) but he's not ready for a relationship. I TOTALLY respect that. he gave me good reason. But, at the time, i was like, "come on now. really?" it wasnt till the end of the conversation that i really realized what he did. He listened to God.
Now you could be thinking, "wow anna. Thats not really a hard lesson to be given." or, you could be thinking, "I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS." Listening to God is a hard thing. especially at the age of fifteen. especially especially when youre dealing with a guy/girl situation. I had to listen to God a couple weeks ago for the exact same thing. (i fell for a non-christian and he asked me out and i had EVERY INTENTION of going out with him. But when the time came for me to answer the question, God was in my ear so strong that i just couldnt resist listening to Him. However, not without difficulty. i mean, how easy would it be for YOU to turn down a gorgeous, intelligent, smooth guy who's dancing with you at that particular moment with his lips ever so sweetly brushing against your ear as he asks the question????)
This guy i was talking about, turned me down, while he supposedly still liked me. Having that kind of connection with God inspires me. Its exactly what im looking for in a guy. (which made it even more heartbreaking...but thats not important.) And not even in a guy, but just a friend. someone to hold you accountable for your actions concerning God's plans for you. I want this in my life. To see someone my age, prioritizing the RIGHT things puts a smile in my heart. God shines through your face (this guy). As i said. I want someone like you to hold my heart...to teach it your ways. If its with you, and you are with God, then so am i. I always have been with God. But i feel like i could be even closer to him. I want to learn more. To confide in someone about the problems im going through. someone who may actually have answers for a change. Im proud of you. God is proud of you. And in time, if God wills it so, He may be proud of us.
Me and my siblings all mature ten times faster than other children our age. Some of us more physically than others, but all of us mature mentally and emotionally way faster than other children. Why? im not really sure. But its good sometimes, then other times its bad.
Last night i went to my best friend's house. Jenna is 18, and JUST GOT ENGAGED! I'm so happy for her and her fiance Stephen. Anyways, she threw a party for her coming back from Texas, and i was, of course, younger than everyone there by at least three years. However, i felt like one of the oldest! Now, this isnt exactly a bad thing. it may just mean that the people there were just having fun with life! The point is, years dont exactly matter. things like experience, observation, God's given wisdom, level of maturity, etc. are really the things that matter.
However, there are some times when I get to learn something. those times really open my eyes, and im glad for them.
That guy i was talking about? God is currently using him to teach me something. Of course, i wont know the full lesson once this is all over, but i will learn. We talked today. He likes me too (supposedly) but he's not ready for a relationship. I TOTALLY respect that. he gave me good reason. But, at the time, i was like, "come on now. really?" it wasnt till the end of the conversation that i really realized what he did. He listened to God.
Now you could be thinking, "wow anna. Thats not really a hard lesson to be given." or, you could be thinking, "I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS." Listening to God is a hard thing. especially at the age of fifteen. especially especially when youre dealing with a guy/girl situation. I had to listen to God a couple weeks ago for the exact same thing. (i fell for a non-christian and he asked me out and i had EVERY INTENTION of going out with him. But when the time came for me to answer the question, God was in my ear so strong that i just couldnt resist listening to Him. However, not without difficulty. i mean, how easy would it be for YOU to turn down a gorgeous, intelligent, smooth guy who's dancing with you at that particular moment with his lips ever so sweetly brushing against your ear as he asks the question????)
This guy i was talking about, turned me down, while he supposedly still liked me. Having that kind of connection with God inspires me. Its exactly what im looking for in a guy. (which made it even more heartbreaking...but thats not important.) And not even in a guy, but just a friend. someone to hold you accountable for your actions concerning God's plans for you. I want this in my life. To see someone my age, prioritizing the RIGHT things puts a smile in my heart. God shines through your face (this guy). As i said. I want someone like you to hold my heart...to teach it your ways. If its with you, and you are with God, then so am i. I always have been with God. But i feel like i could be even closer to him. I want to learn more. To confide in someone about the problems im going through. someone who may actually have answers for a change. Im proud of you. God is proud of you. And in time, if God wills it so, He may be proud of us.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Me? ha...funny story.
Teenage love interests are an interesting thing.
ive always been drawn to help people, know their problems, help them realize the lessons God is teaching them through their individual relationships. When i got to highschool i completely let people know i was there for them. i asked them how they were and they would tell me. i would tell them my opinion on the situation, and use the wisdom God has blessed me with. All i want is for people to be happy, while theyre doing the right thing.
Now, some people may say "so ill bet youre really good with your own relationships!" that is more or less true. For example, im going through a relationship right now that hasnt really started yet. i analyze things entirely too much. which the average person doesnt do. i was determined not to get hurt. this whole year has been full of heartbreak for me. i havent had a successful relationship in highschool yet, i must say. a few weeks ago i decided to not date people at school. outside of school is where relationships belong. i started liking this guy at my church. AgH. i dont really know what to do. theres so many mixed messages he gives me, and i cant tell if hes only playing. which is one thing i may never understand about the male mind. and im sure they dont understand that part of ours either. all i know is that theres rumors floating that he does like me, but theres also considerable evidence that he doesnt. i need to get things straight. prayer is welcomed. i hope i havent hurt anyone...
love, anna
ive always been drawn to help people, know their problems, help them realize the lessons God is teaching them through their individual relationships. When i got to highschool i completely let people know i was there for them. i asked them how they were and they would tell me. i would tell them my opinion on the situation, and use the wisdom God has blessed me with. All i want is for people to be happy, while theyre doing the right thing.
Now, some people may say "so ill bet youre really good with your own relationships!" that is more or less true. For example, im going through a relationship right now that hasnt really started yet. i analyze things entirely too much. which the average person doesnt do. i was determined not to get hurt. this whole year has been full of heartbreak for me. i havent had a successful relationship in highschool yet, i must say. a few weeks ago i decided to not date people at school. outside of school is where relationships belong. i started liking this guy at my church. AgH. i dont really know what to do. theres so many mixed messages he gives me, and i cant tell if hes only playing. which is one thing i may never understand about the male mind. and im sure they dont understand that part of ours either. all i know is that theres rumors floating that he does like me, but theres also considerable evidence that he doesnt. i need to get things straight. prayer is welcomed. i hope i havent hurt anyone...
love, anna
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