Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Day of Choice

So, my life is at a slow-mo point. i thought things were starting to move a little faster, but it turns out i was a bit too excited too early. I just dont know when to get my hopes up anymore. or if ever to get my hopes up in the first place. It seems as though nothing is happening for a purpose.  Yes, i know God does everything for a specific reason, but im just not seeing it yet. and, Quite frankfly, its bothering me... i dont know what i should do, where or to whom i should turn, or when to do it. i dont know what God is teaching me anymore.... is it patience? is it faith? is it self control and perseverance? i need something that will open my eyes. so i can see clearly what path i am to take.
This whole musical thing is now taking its tole. i feel like i have no idea why my directors cast me as the leading lady... i feel as though ive done nothing right... all they do is criticize. which i welcome! i love to learn. however, it would be nice to hear some encouraging words every once in a while... im finding refuge in a few people. not many, but a few. and day by day, my connection is getting weaker with some people... God will lead me through. how he will do it? is beyond me of course.

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