Why life sucks? I have no idea.

So, my family has this thing.
Me and my siblings all mature ten times faster than other children our age. Some of us more physically than others, but all of us mature mentally and emotionally way faster than other children. Why? im not really sure. But its good sometimes, then other times its bad.
Last night i went to my best friend's house. Jenna is 18, and JUST GOT ENGAGED! I'm so happy for her and her fiance Stephen. Anyways, she threw a party for her coming back from Texas, and i was, of course, younger than everyone there by at least three years. However, i felt like one of the oldest! Now, this isnt exactly a bad thing. it may just mean that the people there were just having fun with life! The point is, years dont exactly matter. things like experience, observation, God's given wisdom, level of maturity, etc. are really the things that matter.
However, there are some times when I get to learn something. those times really open my eyes, and im glad for them.
That guy i was talking about? God is currently using him to teach me something. Of course, i wont know the full lesson once this is all over, but i will learn. We talked today. He likes me too (supposedly) but he's not ready for a relationship. I TOTALLY respect that. he gave me good reason. But, at the time, i was like, "come on now. really?" it wasnt till the end of the conversation that i really realized what he did. He listened to God.
Now you could be thinking, "wow anna. Thats not really a hard lesson to be given." or, you could be thinking, "I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS." Listening to God is a hard thing. especially at the age of fifteen. especially especially when youre dealing with a guy/girl situation. I had to listen to God a couple weeks ago for the exact same thing. (i fell for a non-christian and he asked me out and i had EVERY INTENTION of going out with him. But when the time came for me to answer the question, God was in my ear so strong that i just couldnt resist listening to Him. However, not without difficulty. i mean, how easy would it be for YOU to turn down a gorgeous, intelligent, smooth guy who's dancing with you at that particular moment with his lips ever so sweetly brushing against your ear as he asks the question????)
This guy i was talking about, turned me down, while he supposedly still liked me. Having that kind of connection with God inspires me. Its exactly what im looking for in a guy. (which made it even more heartbreaking...but thats not important.) And not even in a guy, but just a friend. someone to hold you accountable for your actions concerning God's plans for you. I want this in my life. To see someone my age, prioritizing the RIGHT things puts a smile in my heart. God shines through your face (this guy). As i said. I want someone like you to hold my heart...to teach it your ways. If its with you, and you are with God, then so am i. I always have been with God. But i feel like i could be even closer to him. I want to learn more. To confide in someone about the problems im going through. someone who may actually have answers for a change. Im proud of you. God is proud of you. And in time, if God wills it so, He may be proud of us.