Love is One

There's a snippit in time... Fate changes it's path after its creation and tries its subject.
Why doth fate move so inefficient and slow as to capture
Its crossed lovers in decision.
The sun weeps for the stars and their path
To unwary nights to unwary days.
Human nature hates fate's betrayal and does its best to bend
Even where reality speaks falsely to this claim.
Come sky, let come night
And wind and weather too wise for wise's name
So that I may speak to thee in private and discover thy course
And end my painful travel.
Speak to me as I were a cloud to break into many pieces
In a moment not knowing to where I am bound
So not to be lost in the nave sky.
Oh hideous fate! Why doth the day shine in resplendent glory today,
Die in rain in the fort night?
Know you the trial in this inconsistency.
I pray thee,
Why do you show me such beatitude and splendor today
With promises of commitment in this day,
And the fortnight even more glories of wondrous passion equally so
That I may be swept with confusion and unrest in this troubled day so.
This foul lie,
This rival inconsistency
Is that of life lived full and wise one might oppose.
Fate's way of showing fate's beautiful creation is test and measurement.
If light affects light and darkness darkness
And in the same darkness light,
Would not disloyalty affect disloyalty and disloyalty faith?
In that way love stops here.
Love grows here.
Love finds here.
Shall I be one to oppose such a test of courage?
Love, this great seeker of our hearts and our recompense must be deserved and trusted.
It must be sure,
Defying all odds and measures,
Knowing no bottom and affecting no lie and no fallacy.
The great cause is this:
Love shall know its own boundary and be one.
For two nor three cannot equal love.

Love is one.

A Love That Matters

There comes a time when you really realize how unworthy you are of certain people in your life. this is the saturday of show weekend for Guys and Dolls, and i am really feeling how much i am going to miss this cast. This year has been especially hard because Miss Adelaide is a comedic role, it's junior year which means work galore, I'm dealing with my eating disorder, and I'm working with some people that i don't necessarily get along with all the time, but i want to love them anyways. its been trying and testing, but i feel as though I'm getting through. honestly though, the reason i chose to write to you, is because I'm recognizing that i absolutely could not have gotten through the past three months without the support of certain people in my life who were on my side from the very beginning. God put people around every corner to care for me and relax me. so, this post is dedicated to you, Brigitta, Peter, Kalen, Jacob, and Mrs. Lamb. I'm realizing that a vital part of love is that one must humble themselves and accept the help of others. it is then that they realize how much they don't deserve the love of others sometimes. These people in my life have given me love so freely and never expected anything in return. i feel compelled to do something, give something to all of them to thank them, but even then i feel it won't equate. these people delight in me...they take joy in watching me do what i love, and pain when i am hard on myself and feel like i will crash and burn. no words can describe how thankful i am to the Lord for placing them in my life right now. even if some of them are only for a time... I'm grateful to have had them at all. thanks to them, i had the courage to return home: to myself, to God, to the stage, and the beginnings of peace.

Love means humbling oneself and realizing how truly blessed they are to have those in their life that love them, even when they do not deserve to be loved at all.

This is the Love that matters--the Love the Lord gives freely every day.

An Apology Long Awaited

Being a good friend is not easy. And hard to find. I wish I was a better friend so much of the time...because I have been blessed with some of the most reliable, forgiving, loyal friends in the world. I'm just so busy so much of the time... And I numb myself to the world and the love around me. It's selfish. I'd like to take this time to apologize to all of the people who have been so pursuant of me in these times...I'm sorry I haven't returned the favor. I pray that I will be able and brave enough to do so in the future. You all have given me one of the greatest gifts a grim could ask for: love. Real love. Unconditional, forgiving love.

Destination: Beautiful

Then there's the moment when you realize he will always be there. A part of you. And a part of him will always be yours. No matter who he says he loves. And you will be a part of him and love him, no matter who you say you love. Because he has a part of you you can't get back. No matter how hard you try.

You have no choice but to,

Let This Be Your Sun.

Stop This And Come Back To You. With Help From Missy

"Everyone's Waiting"

I know all the lines to say
The part I’m expected to play
But in the reflection I am worlds away

As I put my costume on
Eyelashes one by one
Been doing this so long I can tie the knot
Behind my back

And everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear what my heart is saying
Cos everyone’s waiting

"Just swallow and breathe," she says,
"Remember this ain’t for you it’s for them
And all of those painful lessons you’ve had to learn
You gotta use them now or never"

Cos everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear
What my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

When everyone’s waiting
It makes it harder to hear what my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

But everyone’s waiting
I hear that answers appear when you just stand still
But make it all, how do you make it all stop
When everyone’s waiting?
Everyone's waiting.

Sometimes Someone Else Can Say How You Feel Better Than You Can

"Ten Days"

So we've put an end to it this time.
I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.
You said this hill looks far too steep
If I'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep.
And it's been ten days without you in my reach,
And the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.

But time has changed nothing at all -
You're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes and
I let you go but you're still the only one
That feels like home.

You won't talk me into it next time,
If I'm going away your hearts coming too.
'Cos I miss your hands I miss your face.
When I get back let's disappear without a trace.

'Cos it's been ten days without you in my reach,
And the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.

But time has changed nothing at all -
You're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes,
Tried letting go but you're still the only one
That feels like home.

So tell me, did you really think...
Oh tell me, did you really think
I had gone when you couldn't see me anymore?
When you couldn't...

'Cos baby time has changed nothing at all -
You're still the only one that feels like home.
And I've tried cutting the ropes,
I let you go but you're still the only one
That feels like home, yeah,
You're still the only one that feels like home,
You're still the only one I've gotta love. 

40 Years: A Victory

Family is why I come back to theatre every time, without fail. The Patt Holt Singers are a prime example of the amazing experience. This year, Patt Holt is celebrating 40years. The group began with a class of fifth graders taught by Patricia Holt. A group of nuns asked them to sing a couple songs for a recital, and, luckily, Patt knew a thing or two about music. When the fifth graders finally reached eight grade and were about to graduate to high school, they gathered in the living room of Patricia Holt and said they wanted to keep singing. Patricia said yes of course, but what will we call it? The Patt Holt Singers, they said with a grin. And so it began. It's the love of one woman, the love of singing and dancing, the love of family, that kept it going. The group got so big, they eventually had to split the group in three: Just Kids, Connection, and Singers. Since then, generations have been in and out of PHS, but one woman has been there through it all and watched them all grow and learn. Patt Holt. This woman is truly remarkable. We call her 'Fearless' because a family this big has to have a fearless leader! I'm so lucky to have been a part of this group. When my faith in theatre dwindled, PHS reminded me that there's always family, you just have to look for it, and be willing to see it. I had five costume changes at the reunion show last night. Five! I could have been stressed and angry and pulling my hair out right to left. But I didn't. Because my family was right there with me. Before a performance, for the old pros, the nerves may not be there. The excitement may not be there. In fact, many said, "I think I'm done after this. I can't do it anymore." but I know for a fact that hearts were changed. When the lights go up, we share the adrenaline, we renew the feelings we had from our first moment on the stage, and instantly, we know that's where we belong. I've learned so much from this family... They taught me to dance with my heart instead of my head. They taught me to feel the freedom of enjoying what I'm doing on the stage because I know that even if I mess up, there will be someone right behind me to back me up. They taught me that even through tears and trials, and difficult personalities, and trying times, there is a reason for everything. There's a reason you're going through this right now. But that reason may not show itself until you least expect it. I hope The Patt Holt Singers live on like it does in the hearts of so many... Their story alone is a triumph. I believe it will have many triumphs to come. It still has much to teach me, and I pray that I am open to learning. But for now, I just want to say that 10 years is a great thing, 20 years is impressive, 30 years is a success, and 40 years, a victory.

Love is made perfect in the heart that presses on.