The earth, and every common sight,
To me did seem
Apparell'd in celestial light,
The glory and the freshness of a dream.
It is not now as it hath been of yore;--
Turn wheresoe'er I may
By night or day,
The things which I have seen I now can see no more.
...
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting
and cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
Shades of the prison house begin to close
Upon the growing Boy,
But he beholds the light, and whence it flows,
He sees it in his joy;
The Youth, who daily farther from the east
Must travel, still is Nature's priest,
And by the vision splendid
Is on his way attended;
At length the Man perceives it die away,
And fade into the light of common day..."
--William Wordsworth's Ode: Intimations Of Immortality From Recollections of Early Childhood
I honestly can't believe the coincidentiality of this guy's last name. I mean come on, he was BORN William WORDS-WORTH?
Huh. Way to go man, way to go.
Anyway, this poem spoke leaps and bounds into my life because of my previous fairy-tale wishes. I have had the romantic and possibly silly idea that humans are souls before they are born. I have no idea if it is possible, or even if it matters, but it means so much to me. If God created me, if He knew me before I was even born, He HAD to have created me before I was sent to earth. That being said, I have thought about what I was like in heaven. I was probably quite silly, but terribly joyful. I can see it--jumping around on God's enormous lap and asking Him questions and singing songs with Him and dancing with Him in our spare time. But when I visualize this, I know that there were probably other souls there as well--to keep the children busy while God tended to important matters. When I see me with others, the first soul that pops into my head is my soulmate--my husband--whoever he may be. I can imagine we had such fun together in the sky. We didn't know yet about our lives together because we didn't care. We were excellent about "being" as they say, and living for the here and now instead of the worries and cares of life and what will happen next. I then imagine that at some point, when it was time for me to live, God took me in His arms and said "Kristianna, it is time for you to go now. But I promise, we will be together again soon." and I'm sure my response was something like, "Me? Now? But GOOOOOOOD pleeeeease just five more minutes? I promise I'll go then. Just one more song and then I'll go? I want to stay with you and with my friend! I will miss you two so!" and to that He replied, "I will be sending *Insert Name Here* very soon as well--he may already be gone, actually. But I promise I will be guiding you every step of the way, and leading you towards the rest of your life with Me. I will also make sure that you are loved, and that you and *insert name here* will meet again on earth to serve me in a new way." and with that and a precious kiss, I was sent to my mother's womb.
All of this to say, that I believe we have a life before birth, and that we know our soulmates before birth. Our lives, on earth, then, become a continual search for the Light which we knew so well in heaven; the light that is connected to God, to the purpose for our lives, to our soul mates, and to every good thing the Lord has for us on earth. A powerful light.
My grandparents, Bill and Maureen, just celebrated their 50th year of marriage on September 11th. I don't know about you, but to me that is one of life's most incredible feats, but also one of its most cherished joys. I believe it takes two people that are divinely inspired and drawn towards each other to achieve such a strong marriage. In this day with the rising divorce rate, it is clear that this is hard to come by. But, what I believe is the key, is two individuals that have committed their lives to Christ and His purposes for their lives. If we are confident in the light that comes from Him--the light that we were first created under--we will become stewards of that light. We will search for it and honor it and respect it. We will thirst and hunger for more of it because it is the core of who we are, and who we were always meant to be. To me, Bill and Maureen have conquered, as the poem reads, the "Shades of the prison house." They have realized that the world can become a dark, dark place for those who search for the light. The key, however, is to seek the Lord's joy, find the Lord's joy, understand it and be able to recognize it when it comes. Again, as the poem reads, "But he beholds the light, and whence it flows,/He sees it in his joy;" And, if two people can understand this concept as they grow, their ability to serve the kingdom of God grows exponentially. While we are young and we learn what it looks like to serve God as individuals with individual callings, we learn how to draw strength from Him. We learn how to pray and live a life worthy of the Light that lives within us. Our purpose here is service, yes? Therefore, everything in our lives must reflect that--including our relationships with our spouses. We become one with the man or woman God has chosen for us, and learn to serve Him in a new way. We take what we have learned as individuals, and combine it into one single purpose. Then, as the couple grows as one, they seek new wisdom, new kinds of faith, and conquer new trials. All of this, to bring Glory to God.
From what I have seen, Bill and Maureen have lived and are still living a life worthy of this calling. They have both led beautiful lives prior to their marriage. Now they have raised two wonderful children (one of which is my fantastic mother), and are incredible grandparents to eight grandchildren. They are examples in Christ-likeness, grace, forgiveness, kindness, giving, compassion, delight, and joy. Bill and Maureen are some of the most hospitable and compassionate people I know. Just this past weekend they invited me and my best friend into their home and told us of their adventures with the people they meet and the experiences they have. They truly know how to make individuals and families feel precious and purposed. Their belief and encouragement to me, personally, have been an enormous blessing. And yet, through all of this, they have managed to keep a joyful, loving, and sweet, sweet marriage between them. This is what it looks like when God's plans are brought to fruition on earth: The beautiful product of His glory and goodness in the world. I praise the Lord for my grandparents today, and all the lessons they are teaching me.
One day, I know that I will meet the precious soul that the Lord had to separate me from as if He were separating the ocean from the land. And when we become like one and fulfill the Lord's purpose for our life, I hope we will continue this line of God-guided marriages as they are so perfectly represented in one such as Bill and Maureen's. May His glory be continued.
Love is searching.
Love is finding.
Love is understanding.
Love is Light.
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