Harmony Is Hard To Find

I quit. I'm done with people and their rumors, their lies. Why can't we all live together without selfishness and sin? Why does life have to be such a continuous tornado? All it is is "misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms". Why can't you just admit that you're flawed instead of pretending? We're here! We will love you! I cant even count how many times ive messed up. But lies and secrets only spin you backwards. Trust me, i know. We're all the same. i just wish things were different...

More About Time

I've had a time to stare, to wait
A time to sigh
A time to watch the world pass me by

These marks on my skin
Tell me where i have been
Alone to waste
Wanting a bitter taste

Will you move me?
Collecting dust on a shelf
Wanting to see something of myself

I've had a time too late, a bitter state
A time to feel
A time to cry
A time to watch this world around me crumble and die

These marks on my heart say,
I dont know where to start
These lines were so bold, but thin
Ive since made blurry

Will You move me?
Collecting pain drops on this pillow
Wanting to see something of myself

Now its time to stop
We are bent and broken
From here it seems misshapen


But, the time to rest is near.

Anna Begins

Everyone wants to know who or what theyre named after. Now, my full name came from an actress my mom knew when she was studying in college. This actress was the "best in the class. We all knew that if any of us were going to get somewhere, it would be her." Ironic as this is, (knowing that my prime interest is Musical Theatre, and i came to love it at an early age) it gets worse.  My mom was a big Counting Crows fan. During her pregnancy with me, thats all she listened to. The song Anna Begins came on when they decided my name. "We could call her Anna for short!" my mom said. Its ironic that she would choose this song to name me after... because it applies so much to my life. and im realizing it more and more every time i hear it...

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me, "For one time only,
Make an exception."
I am not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions
"Oh," she says, "you're changing."
But we're always changing

It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live with that
But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey
Or something in between
And I can always change my name
If that's what you mean

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself
To make yourself forget
I am not worried
"If it's love," she said, "then we're going to have to
think about the consequences."
She can't stop shaking
I can't stop touching her and...

This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering
for days," she says
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not going to break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not going to bend and I'm not going to break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
No no no no no,
It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should
Snap her up in a butterfly net
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...

The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind
And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep
It's keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong
It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It's chasing me away
She disappears and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing


Love is your actions. Actions come from knowing who you are.