To My Beloved, For The Morning

Today I saw that I am one step closer to the love of my life. Every day that I continue, every day that I step forward, I'm one step closer to him. I realized that my soul has been with him for eternity. When the Lord made my husband, He was making me at the exact same time. He was thinking of me, making sure that every piece would fit perfectly. When I wake up each morning, I can feel him. Somewhere in the world, the Lord woke him up or me. Somewhere in the world, the Lord is making him into the man to house my heart as we combine them into one beautiful offering to the Lord. Our life together, our story, our fairy tale, will be our sacrifice to the Lord. 

But in the meantime, he gives me hope, my beloved one. When I walk down that middle aisle to my love, I'll be able to say to him with all confidence: Thank you. Thank you for haunting my dreams and living in my childhood. Thank you for waiting for me as I have waited for you. Thank you for sacrificing for me as I have sacrificed for you. Thank you for all the hearts you've broken so that you can be with me. Thank you for chasing after the Lord so that you could chase Him right up to me. For I am where He is and He is where i am. And now, we can be where He is and He can be where we are. 

A word of encouragement for you darling, so that when you finally read this, you can know what my wishes were for you when we still had not met: keep going. Keep wishing and dreaming. I know you have big plans for you and me, but focus on you for now. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be there when I'm supposed to be, so you need not worry. When your heart misses me at night, as my heart misses you, think about the things you might like to say to me when we meet again. Think about what we must have been like in heaven, before the Lord sent us down here. Think about how hard it probably was for Him to separate us! I bet it took all His might to split us up. But He knew better, as always. I bet we'll be in love--think about that. I bet we'll have the sweetest looks and the sweetest stories to tell our children about when we met. And also when you miss me at night, or early in the morning when you're seeing the first light of day, pray for me. Pray for me as I am praying for you. I pray that the Lord will guide and protect you. I pray that you will never ever feel alone. I pray that you would chase after your dreams at the hardest speed. Go find the closest flower to you. Hold it close to your face and study it, smell it's perfume. Look at the wrinkles in the petals and the wilting it has begun. It's still absolutely beautiful, right? Realize that even though it's wrinkly and broken, it still holds a sentimental charm and emits a sweet smell. Many situations in life have this symbolism. I urge you to apply it to everything you can. It will bring you a new outlook on life and a new hope for the beauty in the world. Many things, many relationships, many situations may feel broken, may look broken, but they will never lack a lesson. They will never lack some kind of benefit or encouraging thought. It may just take a couple tries to find it. 

Lastly, sweet love, smile. Smile in the day and in the night. It's a powerful medicine, you will be surprised. Smile because this is one day closer to when you have me. 

I love you. 

Love is definite. 

Love is infinite.

Love defies all separation. 

Mine (5/15/13)

My love, take me if you please.
My beloved, make me your other half.
My sweet heart, break mine if it sets yours free.
My darling, let me hold you until the sun comes up.
My dear, let me sing sweet words in your ear until you forget all of your troubles.
My sunshine, I know there is uncertainty and there always will be. But my sweet you must know that I'm going to say every word I can say, throw every fist I can throw, pray every prayer I can pray, to keep you in my arms.

Darling, choose wisely.

A Mature Person?

“A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all-knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

I think Eleanor did a wonderful job of explaining this. I'm on a family trip, and ive been particularly drawn to observing my little brother, michael. He is about twelve as of now, and he thinks hes so old and mature. He tells everyone's business and talks as if no one could ever prove him wrong. he means well, but sometimes it comes off completely wrong. I sat and thought to myself, when will he grow out of this and grow up? And then y thought pattern progressed to, well, am i really able to judge who is grown and who is not? and what judges maturity? am i mature? i believe that there are many different definitions of maturity--most depending on the individual or the situation. but when i saw this quote that Eleanor said, it made me think long and hard. maybe this isnt the official definition, but it is definitely a concept something that those coming-of-age should be thinking about. 

Thinking objectively in the midst of powerful emotion or biased passion can be difficult for even those over 21 and considered legal adults. some "adults" never really grow up...but thats a different topic. objective thinking despite emotion is something all of us should learn to be aware of in ourselves. its very easy for people, human nature, to make a decision based on how they are feeling at that moment. We must learn to look ahead, asking ourselves, "if i do this now, what will it make tomorrow look like?" one might be surprised at the difference even that, simply, can make. but of course, it is easier said than done. 

The second part of that sentence, talking about good and bad and humility, is particularly convicting to me. How often, and how "trendy"it is to judge those we do not know. Or even those we do know and still wish to continue judging. there are many many of those "trendy" characteristics about humanity that people of the world do not wish to confront (gossip, lies, judgement, things that people do and think "oh, its okay."). anyways, looking at someone and their outward appearance or even things youve heard of them, and being able to say, i know there is good in there somewhere, so i should treat them as such" requires a great amount of humility and self control. but WHAT a beautiful world we could create if more people thought that way. so much racism would go away--so many mental illnesses like eating disorders would be done away with--the most unlikely of friends would be made--bullying would decrease drastically. Think of it. we could change the world by a simple change of thought, could we not?

im all for equality, really i am. and i know there are some world-issues in which equality cannot belong because it would upset the political world, but i have thoughts of so much. if we, people, in our own minds, can humble ourselves and change the way we think. if we change the way we think, we change the way we act towards others and how we act in the presence of others. those simple acts for and among people will trigger thoughts in their minds which may inspire them to follow suit. then the process keeps multiplying. Now, it is unrealistic to think that every person will be affected by these acts, but we must have the hope that at least one in ten people will NOTICE. however, also, remember we should not be naiive or timid. "For the Lord did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7) some people may decide to take advantage of those of us that act humbly and think the best of people. but we must not recede or lose hope. we must believe that what we're doing does not only change others and the moods of others around us, but it will change us as well. it will uplift us and empower us. 

So this, to Eleanor, is maturity. to put ourselves aside for others. to make decisions void of selfish emotion. to humble ourselves and see the good in everyone. There is something beautiful about looking for the good in everything. it makes me, personally, very peaceful. but again, different story. do i agree that this is all there is to maturity? certainly not. there is much that goes into a fully developed human being. all we can do is look each and every day for a way to better ourselves into a more defined individual. who you are in this world is up to you, of course. but you only get one you. you only get one interaction in each minute of the day. that exact minute, hour, day, month, and year, will never ever happen again. and you got to claim it. so how will you choose to claim it? make the best of each moment. and strive to be the only you and the best you. live the legacy of you that they will talk about for years over. no one wants perfection, and the mistakes you make make you who you are. so dont be afraid to get out there and try. define maturity. 

Love is what comes after loving who you are.

Love deserves to be spread.